2013 Issue: Joanne Connor: Things my Mother Taught Me (Essay)

Things my Mother Taught Me
By Joanne Connor

It is always between you and me, never between you and I.
Villella was a great dancer.
Stop broadcasting.
Cross your legs at the ankles.
Hospital corners.
Only low heels.
How to set the table with the silver service.
Lipstick only, never eye shadow.
Turn here, here, HERE.
Shut up.
Pearls.
How to pronounce Merlot and ballet.
How to swim.
That I was a bitch over and over.
How to sew and iron.
Peanut butter and bacon sandwiches. Church.
That I was still a bitch over and over.
The extreme importance of underwear.
Peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches.
How much I hated musicals.
How to spoil a dog.
Peanut butter and banana sandwiches.
Generosity.
Shut up.
The importance of gardens.
How to make potato salad.
How to wear a scarf.
Bitch.
That the closest distance between two points is a straight line.
How to love her.

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